The Responsibilities of the Best Man
Although the Best Man is often seen as the joker who has to make
an amusing speech at the wedding, his responsibilities are far more onerous
than that. Here's a list of all his duties.
Make sure the Stag Party is held long before the ceremony and ensure the
groom comes to no harm. It's a good idea to have the stag party at least
one week earlier so everybody has time to sleep off their hangovers.
Wedding Day: Before the Ceremony
Make sure the Groom is properly dressed in the chosen outfit for the wedding.
Usually the Best Man has a similar outfit to the groom. If formal dress
has been chosen, they will both be the same style and colour. If lounge
suits are the order of the day, they will both be similar.
To get the Bridegroom to the church or venue, on time.
To be available, together with the Groom and the Ushers, to have their photographs
taken before the ceremony.
Ensure both the Groom and the Best Man will have their appointed buttonholes
in place, usually the same colour. This is the choice of the bride who will
have ordered the appropriate flowers. Look at the language of flowers for
their meanings. The groom’s buttonhole usually has a flower to match
the bridal bouquet. This goes back to medieval times when knights, going
to fight or to face a challenge, wore their lady’s colours.
Making sure the Usher’s know their duties and if they are responsible
for handing out the buttonholes, they have the completed list
Making sure that the Bridesmaids and Page Boys wait for the Bride at the
entrance of the church or venue
Making sure the Ushers each have enough Orders of Service to hand out
Ensuring the Ushers know which side of the church to place the guests.
Make sure the Mother of the Bride is taken to the front pew on the left
hand side.
He will be responsible for the wedding rings, tickets, license, cash for
payments, credit cards if applicable.
During the Ceremony
The Best Man is often responsible for looking after the ring and hands it
to the Bridegroom when required to do so during the service.
Once the part of the service where the signing of the register is due to
happen, he will follow the Bride and Groom, together with the Chief Bridesmaid
into the vestry where he will be available, if appropriate, to act as a
witness to the ceremony.
He will follow the Bride and Groom out of the church together with the Chief
Bridesmaid in the processional. The smaller attendants follow behind.
He makes sure both the Bride and Groom get into position for the photographs
to be taken.
This can take quite a while so he must mix with the guests, guiding them
and answering their queries.
After the Ceremony
He must be available to be included in the photographs.
He ushers the bridal couple to their transport to the reception.
He ensures that everyone has transport from the venue to the reception and
that everyone knows the way to the reception and where they can park
He must then pay whatever fees remain outstanding, bell ringers, choristers,
organist, the church fees.
At the Wedding Reception
At the reception, if there is no toastmaster, he must call on the speakers
and replies to the toast of “the bridesmaids” and makes his
own speech. This should be light hearted, entertaining and hopefully quite
short. It may contain references to the groom being a very lucky man and
he has a lot of jealous friends. Maybe tell a slightly embarrassing story
about the early days of the groom which is guaranteed to bring great hilarity
to the occasion.
He is responsible for reading out any messages and congratulations received
from invited guests who have been unable to attend or from work colleagues.
He will usually arrange for the “going away” car to be festooned
with tin cans, ribbons and old shoes. The “Just Married” sign
can usually be found! This tradition originated in England sometime during
the Tudor reign when guests would throw shoes at the bride and groom as
they left in their carriage. Should a thrown shoe actually hit the carriage,
it was considered a lucky omen.
Before the newly married couple’s departure, if they are leaving for
their honeymoon, he must give them their tickets, travellers’ cheques,
passports, cash, credit cards, maps and luggage.
After the reception, he will see the couple to their car with much glee!
He will announce to the guests the newly weds are just about to depart and
ensure everyone is available to wave them off.
He must then make himself available to help with collecting the gifts from
the reception venue and taking them to a pre- arranged place for safe keeping
until after the couple return from honeymoon.
Make sure all the guests have transport back to their homes, hotels or railway
station. Should some guests have to leave the reception early, in order
to catch a train, it is the best man’s responsibility to arrange a
taxi or lift to the station.
The Mother of the Bride will need help to remove the cake. The caterers
will have boxed the remaining cake ready for transporting but this can be
very heavy and cumbersome.
He may have to settle the account at the reception venue and if so, this
must be paid.
He must collect the groom’s outfit, if it has been hired and return
it to the shop as arranged.
Finally, after the demands of the day, he will be able to relax, put his
feet up with a well-deserved drink and probably a sigh of relief that the
day has gone so well.
Now read about the Role and Tradition of the Best
Man